First day of GRADE 1... and how I can't let go

Published: Thursday, 07 September 2017

And so it begun.

I had such a hard time sleeping the night before. I kept tossing and turning in bed, and I woke up at 6 AM unable to go back to sleep. It wasn't that I kept thinking about her upcoming school day, but my brain would just not shut off. Every random thing in my to-do list for basically the rest of my life kept popping up in my head. It's like when you're going on a trip very early in the morning and you really need to get some sleep, so instead your brain starts thinking about everything you've ever said or done in the last decade and a half (or is that just me?).

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Full disclosure: as you can imagine, these pictures were not actually taken on the first day of school. It was absolute INSANITY at the school yesterday morning.

Long live those teachers!

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So I was up early yesterday, ready to face the day... and with nothing to do. Our sleeping schedule had been all over the place for the past 9 weeks (Summer will do that), so I thought I'd actually pack lunches and backpacks, and get her clothes ready the night before, so that we could all sleep in a little later in the morning.

I was so prepared! And now I had too much time. How many cups of tea do you think I can drink before waking up my family?

I didn't know what to expect at school. Where we supposed to stay? Do parents even do that in grade school? I actually almost dropped her off at the JK / SK area (wake up! your kid has grown!).

She was so excited. Like SO, SO EXCITED! to be at school and see her friends. Her happiness was pouring out of every pore in her little body. They were all screaming their names and hugging, as if they hadn't seen each other for decades.

Parents were invited to stay to meet the new teachers and learn about what class their children were in. And as I was standing in the gym, surrounded by a cloud of noise, it hit me. She was in her own little, happy world. She was with her buddies, in a place that's hers. I had to fight the urge to go hug her and never let go.

But you do let go.

And I know she's not 19 and moving out, but there are so many little moments as a parent when we have to "let go". And it's hard. Is this normal or am I an entirely dependent, unable-to-let-go-of-her-growing-child mother?